Telling My Story: Part 1

Mother’s Day is what I’ll start with because it is the most recent.

I’m in my 20’s and I am the first daughter born to my mother. My mom and I do not have the type of mother – daughter relationship that many would expect a mother- daughter to have. I grew up with my mom (and dad) and also lived with her (and dad) for most of my life.

A very good memory I have from living where’s my mom as a child is remembering her feeding me cereal and milk before she rushed me gently to the small yellow school bus that waited outside the house.

In my preteen, teen and you’d adult years there aren’t many more memories that shows her care and patience as that one. 

Growing up, my parents fought often, but not as much as they have in the last years that they lived together. Looking back now, I see that their  arguing only increased. At this point they no longer live together and they are going through a divorce that is now taking almost 4 years to be final.

It is almost a year since I moved out of the house I grew up in I no longer live with my mother.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day as many of us know in the United States (which isn’t completely united because of tension between police and citizens, but that’s another topic). For the first time I brought my mom out to eat for Mother’s Day. It would not have been possible she did not agree to go. We almost didn’t go because she thought about how crowded it may be in the restaurants. But she changed her mind and off we went: my mom, sister and I.

Over time I’ve noticed the similarities between my mother and I, both physical and personality wise. Before I moved out of the house I even saw a picture of her that looks strikingly like me, with only slight differences.

One of the reasons I thank God that I was able to live with my mother is so that I can know my family history-  even if in bits and pieces.

I have had times where I didn’t like the way I looked (shape, hair, and size) or the way I dressed. At this time I no longer feel the way I used to, I accept myself more and I love my hair and I am accepting my shape.

Yesterday, it may be true or not but during the last set of pictures that we took, I could almost see and sense that my mom wanted to correct something or make a complaint about the pose. She was very nice yesterday, so it could be me remembering how it was living with her.

But because I noticed that we resemble this morning I wondered; could it be that she doesn’t accept or approve of me because she didn’t approve of herself as a teen or young adult and she sees a reflection of her young self in me?
Yesterday I even noticed for the first time we have the same bottom! Lol. In our culture having a big or nice size bottom as a woman is a big thing, even having hips or a big chest.

God I thank you in advance for complete healing and being covered with Your awesome love. May my testimony help someone out there going through the same situations. May you be glorified, thank You for the revelations You are giving me and opening my eyes to things I never noticed before. In Jesus’ name, Amen.


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