This One is For NYC’s Finest

First to those subscribed to this page. Thank you for subscribing! This post here is a personal one. It is meant for someone. I have thought about sending him these things directly, but right now I’ll just share it here. If he visits my page and happens to see it and decides to read it, good. If not, at least it is off my chest and I’m not spending another day thinking about this post or him or whatever else. Today I accepted that God in His sovereignty allowed this relationship to end and He wants me single to draw closer to Him, get to know him again, and even be comfortable eating when it is just me and Him at the table or going for a walk. I do have a blog dedicated to living single so I’ll be sharing posts about living single on that blog. I may share some of those post here, we’ll see [God’s willing].

Since I’ve made it clear that this post is for some one now I can say, “Hey NYC’s Finest πŸ˜€

Yeah, I thought that would be better πŸ™‚ I’m hoping you would know it’s you that I’m speaking of. I know I’m being vague. But you used this nickname, maybe briefly, in your earlier years. Hopefully you can piece together where the response below is from. I just didn’t have the guts to send it to you through text. I made a video too but it was too large to share it where I wanted to share it. Maybe I can add it here…

But you knew me, you know me from my younger years, in those years I was always better at writing. At this time writing is the best way. I’m not nervous, just hoping you’d understand my decision to write. No phone call because I still have not overcome what I need to overcome personally. For us, for this situation, writing is easier than singing the songs I could have tried to sing in the singing group you invited me to.

PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN:

Too much for text (meaning text message/messenger)
“Thank you.
But do you or anyone else you know have anything else to say other than, ‘I deserve better than what you can give me, because that isn’t cutting it. You said that before and I disagreed. I disagree now. So maybe I’m not ‘woke’ yet. But if you don’t want to be with me say that. If you don’t want to fight for us, say that. Hahaha your invitation to that quarantine karaoke was sent at an interesting time. That’s what led to this conversation.

I’m happy you’re sleeping again though.
With us IDK, I’m not dating right now because I was advised not to by a counselor. Before that you were there, right there in the back of my head. I remembered you. Like I said if you dont want to be with me say that and if you’re stepping out of the ring when it comes to fighting for us – say that.

Why couldn’t you be honest from the start, whenever things started to change why couldn’t you JUST TELL ME! Whether it was or is something your parents told you or threatened you about, why couldn’t you tell me.

This is just the way our story unfolds. Together and then not, together and then not, again and again until one of us stops.
Your true colors reflect that of human nature
Unsure, unstable, not grounded, troubled, unsatisfied, desiring care and comfort. A lover is what you want maybe even a second mother too.
You know what you want, don’t you
God knows what you need
Are you pleasing Him, or your parents? Or yourself?

Love never gives up, it has never run out on me. That true live never gave up on me. That love is long lasting. That love, stays true, that love is honest. THAT LOVE is long suffering. He waits and He waits and He waits and He keeps on waiting, still He waits. For me, and for those who will say YES to HIM. HE is LOVE. You know who He is.”

I remember your response to my writing. Feel whatever you need to feel and work through it. It would be nice to know that you did see this post. It’s up to you to let me know. Below are some songs I’ve thought about singing in that singing group, but I’ve decided to not to for now.

Alrighty, all the best to you NYCs FINEST πŸ™‚

I miss you. Song Coffee by Tori Kelly

Then Someone You Loved, The First Cut is the Deepest which was actually one of the first songs I heard that reminded me of us.

I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles! You used to sing this song and it never registered that The Beatles sang this song. And I just remembered that movie we saw together with the guy who knew all of the Beatles songs but had no idea where the song ideas were coming from. Good times as you often said. πŸ™‚

Relationships: Signs of …

… A Controlling and Manipulative Romantic Relationship.

In the midst of researching information for Lasting Lifestyle Change, an idea that is in the works since becoming a certified Health Coach, I came upon the article below. It was a good read as I ate my meal. I share for the lady or male who may not know what an abusive relationship looks like. Without much dating in my life, I would only know what one looks like based on movies I’ve seen. So it’s good to know

https://www.bustle.com/p/5-controlling-manipulative-relationship-signs-to-watch-out-for-6899127

FIVE Manipulative Relationship Signs

Thoughts

Keep on loving her

And may she keep on receiving your love

Consider how you entertain the beautiful, sexy, interesting lady, woman who you’ve just met or seen for the first time.

She sees you loving on your girl

Shes beautiful and

You’re taller than she’s used to being around

You’ve known her longer

She sees it as better that you stick with the one you’ve loved than chase after whatever you see is possible with her

She knew the feeling

Of being hugged,

Cuddled from the side,

Reaping attention in the midst of a crowd

Being touched…

In a loving way

In public

She misses the feeling

Has she turned into a romantic

Maybe she just has more hope and push for the couple that’s been together

She doesn’t even what to be seen as a threat

But why do women become defensive

Or

Is this being read wrong

For she too was once defensive

But perhaps it was just love and protection for the one she loved

And behind these words

She can hide

Guess What?!

Breakups suck.

Yes. It is true.

Beware, because if it was a long relationship, I’d say memories will come out of no where at times. I read recently that memories last forever, is it true? I guess I’ll find out. Hopefully I’ll find out. Yet, it’s not up to me, it’s up to my Abba. But yeah, Breakups are no fun, even when you try to play it cool to social media. I wonder what it was like when there was NO social media.

I’d share a ton more, but I’m holding back because Just A Little Something is not my journal. Also, I do not feel comfortable sharing about how I feel right now. After all, anyone can read this blog.

Got any words about Breakups? Share ’em below.

Still Sad?

For what?

Because you wrote this August 24th 2017

What if the same thing happened to me? I loved another guy from work?

Lord his mother want me to show that I love him, but what else can I do…for this guy who is so easily able to love someone else?

Again, here goes this prayer LordπŸ˜”, if he’s not the one clear up what is going on. As sad as I am to be saying this, I’m just sad about it right now πŸ˜”. But if this is your will then okay, what is Your will, again?

β€’ Because now I’m having doubts about Brian and I marrying each other. I don’t want to be a miserable wife because of my husband’s behavior. I don’t like that his dad kisses other women on the lips. That is so crazy to me. And I do not want that kind of lifestyle or marriage. πŸ˜” Have Your way Father, have Your way Holy Trinity, help me please, help me in so many ways πŸ™ in Jesus’s name I pray. Amen.

β€’ 10:45pm watching Arrow, brushing teeth, then going to bed.

She’s not sure if this question will be answered one day, but she’s still thinking about what has happened.

Mind you, she is grateful for the time spent with this other person, but she’s still in the process of moving forward without him.

This Was…

…the second part to my future vows.

If I am reading this at our wedding, it means we made it past our struggle of January 2018. I’m at work, eating inside of a restaurant and the music playing, is the music you like to sing. Music not of our time, but the old school classic music. Right now I’m not bothered by my memory of you, because yesterday we made more peace during our visit at Baldwin Coach diner. I was laughing because of you, because of our conversation. I never thought that we would have such a situation, but I pray I’ll love you the way you want to be loved and the way God wants me to love you as my husband. I love you. (January 24th 2018 Wednesday)

It’s time to remove this note entry from my phone.

How do I move on and live a single life again?

Lord, I truly and honestly need your help. Thank You for being with me every day Father God.

β™‘God

T