Used To. Will It Be Back?

I used to dream of being a woman that cooked great meals
A woman that worked with her hands
A woman with great friends, a husband, and children
A house pecked with children
A home of hospitality

I liked the homes and gardens spread throughout the Better Homes & Gardens magazine
Every picture of a lighted room
The living room, kitchen, bathroom
I think only recently the bedroom
All rooms with breathing space
Tidy and organized
Tidy and organizations, because that’s how I liked things

But I realized, a home with children
Isn’t always so and span
My grandmother’s home was ALWAYS spotless
She worked in a hospital
All get children were grown
And she had gran kids
Even so get home was still spotless
It was also cold,
Cold and clean

So I dreamed of a beautiful house
One to share
A family that expressed God’s love – everywhere & to everyone
A family that was hospitable
A God glorifying marriage

I was younger than 23
I have seen and believe
God can do it
He can do anything
He answers prayers
There’s no reason for me to think or believe that He does not answer
Our dies not fulfill the dies of our hearts

But Lord,
what happened to, “ask what you will that your joy may be full,” ?

So at the beginning of this post I shared dreams and things that I was happy about or had joy about, at 23, for some reason it seems to have changed.

Part of me wants to go back.
But so much has changed
Life moves on
Time continues
Seasons change
Lord, help me to adjust and move forward, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

In One Word


Christmas this year was unimaginable – in, I think, one of the best ways. Then there was some trouble with my sister and her mom – in a way that slightly saddened the moment. Realizing that my parents are still going through a divorce sort of made Christmas morning a bit hushed.


was being surrounded by this HUGE family. With children of various ages, aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters, and mom and dads who are still together.

this family –  could, possibly, perhaps – one day be part of my extended family.


A large family will be an answered prayer.

Imaginable and yet,


Ephesians 3:20 God can do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think.

Hey! That’s the same verse I put over a picture of my boyfriend and I. Welp, this Christmas has been added to the Ephesians 3:20 list.


Howdy 😎

  I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will guide you with my eye. Psalm 32:8

A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9

About a month ago I completed my first degree in community college. I intend on getting a bachelor’s degree but before I start I’ve decided to take a break…a semester of. Why? to take a break from school, to seek God on what four-year college He wants me to attended and what I should major in/ study. I’ve been praying for a while about what I should major in and the school He wills for me to attended (after all he knows the plans He has for me, so for me to know I gotta ask Him (Matthew 7:7-11). God has answered my prayers 🙂 and He is still guiding me!!

Honestly, it took time for me to let go of my own plans and allow God to lead me into His plans for me. Waiting on His answer wasn’t speedy either, it took patience and I had to wait (One of my posts on waiting). And after waiting I heard His answer, sometimes I even saw it ( if you know what I mean, hopefully you do, because I don’t know how to explain it).

Lately, I’ve been catching up on some knitting projects! Now that I have the time I can start using up yarn I’ve had for the past 2 to 3 years. Since it’s been so long I’ve dug up my two beginners knitting books to refresh my memory. So far I’ve made coasters and I plan to make more with various types of yarns and patterns. Yes, it’s time for me to get updated with the new knitting stuff…whatever they are. Hopefully I’ll post some pictures of what I’m knitting and patterns I’ve tried.

I’ve also been playing my guitar more! I’m so glad that I have gone from practicing to actually playing my guitar! The best thing is I can finally play Gospel/Christian songs, PRAISE THE LORD!!! 😀  I’m so thankful that God has given me the grace to be more persistent in playing and learning how to play and read music. *Joyful sigh* Praise the Lord! I remember registering for a folk guitar class, without knowing what folk guitar was. I figured well as long as I’m learning how to play it doesn’t matter what folk guitar means. When I registered for my last set of classes I prayed for God to guide me to which class to take and I prayed that these classes will go well if not excellent, and they did! This is one of the reasons why I love Romans 8:28, the scripture says, And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I also love this scripture because it reminds me that although I can’t see the future or the consequence of a decision I know and trust in the God who is omniscient (all-knowing), omnipotent(all-powerful), and omnipresent(everywhere at once); it gives me reassurance and it reminds me that I can trust God in all things. 🙂

Well, that’s all for now.  Feel free to comment 🙂

Past Prayer 4

This entry is part of the “Past Prayer Series” .

October 23, 2010

Lord, thank You for waking me up this morning; that I may have the opportunity to make needed corrections in my attitudes and my habits. I repent of the sins I have committed against You in thought, word, and deed. I ask for Your forgiveness of these sins. I thank You for forgiving me and washing me clean.  I ask that You may help me to not stay on the computer for excessive amounts of time. I ask that You may help me to stay away from TV shows that subtly do more harm than good to my spirit.

I ask that You may continue to guide me on the path of Your will and that I may not change the direction in which you have put me in.

Help me to not focus on or think about silly matters. Help me to not think negatively of others or myself. Lord, help me to not focus on the opinions or thoughts of others but to respect them only to an extent.

Father, help me to not feel insecure about who I am and who You created me to be. Teach me that I may learn not to compare myself to others and teach me how to be strong in who I am, Who is in me, and who I was created to be.

God, I ask that You may continue to teach me right from wrong, according to Your commandments and Your Word. Help me, show me where I am able to study Your word and fellowship with others. Lord, help me to not be lazy in what I do and what I am supposed to do.

I ask that You may get rid of, eradicate, any spirit that You do not approve of in me. Help me to see, that I may not enter or allow any evil spirit to enter my mind. God, I ask that You may help me stay focused on You and only You. For when I focus on You and Your ways and Your teachings everything else will fall  in to place according to Your will.

I ask that You Lord, will give me spiritual understanding that I may comprehend what happens around me; that I may not judge Your people. Father, help me to be humble in all ways that I may not think of myself more highly than others. Help me to not be stubborn, continue to show me how to be patient. Help me to know Your voice that I may do what You tell me. Help me to not feel as though I know everything. Help me to not fall deeper into selfish ways that are taught in this world, help me to not become self-focused. Help me to not worry about material things. Teach me how to meditate on Your Word.

When others come to rattle my faith, I may continue to stand firm on Your truthful Word, Lord. Those who come against me with their words or actions may not succeed in their angry or evil intents because I have You God, my protector and my guard.

Thank You, for all the blessings and mercies and love that You have given me. Thank you for Your forgiveness. I thank You for revealing the truth behind TV shows that I know to stay away from them because they are far away from the life You intend for me to live. Thank You for revealing to me that most of the shows that I used watch never brought me closer to You but separated me from You.

I thank You for helping me to be more selfless, I thank You for Your guidance in my life. I thank You for protecting me from harm and danger. I thank You for giving me spiritual understanding that I may understand what goes on around me. I thank You for leading me in prayer, I thank You for listening to me when I pray. I thank You God for knowing my thoughts even before I came to You.

I thank You for guiding me on the path of Your will for Your glory. I thank You for helping me and showing me to be confident in who You created me to be. I was made in the image and likeness of You, the work of Your hands are great and pondered by many. I praise You, O God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I thank You for revealing to me the uniqueness You placed in each and every one of Your children, in the body of Christ; we are all important and needed to do Your work.(Psalm 139:13-18; 1 Corinthians 12:24-26)

Thank You, Father, for showing me and giving me opportunities to remain in Your Word, to dwell in Your Word. Thank You for showing me and teaching me how to meditate on Your Word.

Father God, You are great and worthy to be praised.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

*Slightly revised.

I have to be honest, while I was typing this prayer out from my journal I became annoyed. In almost every paragraph I asked God for different things without praising Him. Not that what I asked for is not important; it’s just…my state of mind and my understanding about prayer has changed since October 2010. I can’t leave out the bit of guilt I felt when I realized the unrevised prayer could be an example of a wish list prayer; and I’m not a fan of wish list praying. BUT I’m glad I’m able to be thankful for everything I asked for because God did answer my prayers even though I was ignorant on the importance of giving thanks to God. There is nothing wrong with asking God for what you desire to have, there is nothing wrong with opening your heart to Him because He gives us more love than anyone else can ever give. Even though I felt guilty about this prayer, my joy abounds greater than the guilt I felt because God has answered my prayers, I’ve already seen the manifestation of what I’ve asked for and I still see it today. 😀

“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.” – 1 John 5:14-15

Remember to give thanks for the blessing’s God has given you, and for the things you’ve asked Him for. In doing so, you are working your faith muscle in believing that what you’ve asked God for, He will give to you as long as you are in right standing with him and what you’ve asked for is in his will.


He Does Answer!

When talking to God I really need to be more patient. I think we (those of us who talk to God daily) all need to be a little more patient if we aren’t already. Tonight God just answered my thoughts … Continue reading