Telling My Story: Part 1

Mother’s Day is what I’ll start with because it is the most recent.

I’m in my 20’s and I am the first daughter born to my mother. My mom and I do not have the type of mother – daughter relationship that many would expect a mother- daughter to have. I grew up with my mom (and dad) and also lived with her (and dad) for most of my life.

A very good memory I have from living where’s my mom as a child is remembering her feeding me cereal and milk before she rushed me gently to the small yellow school bus that waited outside the house.

In my preteen, teen and you’d adult years there aren’t many more memories that shows her care and patience as that one. 

Growing up, my parents fought often, but not as much as they have in the last years that they lived together. Looking back now, I see that their  arguing only increased. At this point they no longer live together and they are going through a divorce that is now taking almost 4 years to be final.

It is almost a year since I moved out of the house I grew up in I no longer live with my mother.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day as many of us know in the United States (which isn’t completely united because of tension between police and citizens, but that’s another topic). For the first time I brought my mom out to eat for Mother’s Day. It would not have been possible she did not agree to go. We almost didn’t go because she thought about how crowded it may be in the restaurants. But she changed her mind and off we went: my mom, sister and I.

Over time I’ve noticed the similarities between my mother and I, both physical and personality wise. Before I moved out of the house I even saw a picture of her that looks strikingly like me, with only slight differences.

One of the reasons I thank God that I was able to live with my mother is so that I can know my family history-  even if in bits and pieces.

I have had times where I didn’t like the way I looked (shape, hair, and size) or the way I dressed. At this time I no longer feel the way I used to, I accept myself more and I love my hair and I am accepting my shape.

Yesterday, it may be true or not but during the last set of pictures that we took, I could almost see and sense that my mom wanted to correct something or make a complaint about the pose. She was very nice yesterday, so it could be me remembering how it was living with her.

But because I noticed that we resemble this morning I wondered; could it be that she doesn’t accept or approve of me because she didn’t approve of herself as a teen or young adult and she sees a reflection of her young self in me?
Yesterday I even noticed for the first time we have the same bottom! Lol. In our culture having a big or nice size bottom as a woman is a big thing, even having hips or a big chest.

God I thank you in advance for complete healing and being covered with Your awesome love. May my testimony help someone out there going through the same situations. May you be glorified, thank You for the revelations You are giving me and opening my eyes to things I never noticed before. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Discovering Self-Worth

I saw this on a blog I visited recently and these words are very inspirational. I’m hoping that these words will also show you something about yourself that you don’t already know. So when you’re feeling down and out because of the negative thoughts going through your mind or the negative things people may say to you, just read the lines below to push those away and to stomp out the lies of the enemy. The devils only purpose is to steal, kill and destroy, no one is exempt from his tactics. So whatever way he can destroy a person he will do it. One of the places the devil plays his strategies is in our minds. Which is why we have to be careful of what thoughts we listen to and believe. We also have to be careful of what people and what voices we listen to. If we accept lies in our mind from the enemy then, over time we will begin to believe it as the truth, when it is not. THANKFULLY, God has given us His Word, which is truth, the Holy Bible.

Through God’s word your mind will be renewed (having old thoughts, habits, and all that is in your mind that is of the world replaced with new thoughts, habits and attitudes that are of God).

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” – Romans 12:2

I was created on purpose, for a purpose and with a purpose.

 I am fearfully and wonderfully made – God is IN you!     

    I am special!

I am loved!

 I am valuable!
 
I am worthy!
 
I am highly favored!
  
I am God’s ultimate creation!
  \
  
I am unique and there is no one like me!
  
I am powerful!
 
 I am gifted and talented!
 
I am capable!
 
I am gorgeous, fabulous even!
 
Reading this brought inspiration to me. Hopefully it will bring inspiration to you also. 🙂
I would post chapter 31 of Proverbs here, but I want that to have its own post.
♥God

This is Me! Love Me or Leave Me!

I just came from church a couple of minutes ago. The sermon was great, I don’t know how much people tonight’s sermon touched but it definitely touched me. What I got out of the sermon is that I need to be okay and content with who I am. NO ONE is perfect. We have to understand our faults and mistakes. Sometimes a couple of people may be disillusioned about who and what they really are. How we see ourselves may and can be very different from how others see us. Sometimes in your mind you can set your self on a pedestal, but truthfully your not.

I have plenty of thoughts regarding tonight’s sermon. I’m sorry I don’t remember the person’s name but, his sermon was really good. Some people, including me, need to have whatever illusion they have of themselves broken to match reality. Jesus can see what and who we really are, God knows our highest potential…whew tonights sermon was GREAT!!!

                                                                                                   ___NOTES___

—- Availability and Useability are two different things. We may be available for God to use us the way he wants to, but we may not yet be useful.

—- Take a step back, ask Jesus show me the reality of who I am. Take a step back to realize that sometimes I am wrong and sometimes I am right.

Allen AME Holy Thursday April 1st,2010 7pm service.–Hopefully a CD will be made so the service can be re-heard.

Have a question?  

They are always welcome.(post here or contact me at Tia20na@aim.com)